Dark Jokes

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⚠️ Trigger Warning

Dark jokes are not for everyone. They are designed to be offensive!

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Pete the serial flasher was thinking of retiring

But he’s decided that he’s going to stick it out for another year…

Today my wife asked me how I view lesbian relationships…

Apparently “in full HD” wasn’t the correct answer!

Why is it that skinny men like fat women?

Because they need warmth in winter and shade in summer.

Ever seen a blind man swim?

He probably hasn’t either.

Jesus walks into a inn, hands the innkeeper three nails, and says:

“Can you put me up for the night?”

A blind man walked into a fish market and said

“Hello ladies!”

These Korean meatballs

really are the dog’s bollocks!

Dark humour is like food

not everyone gets it.

Male bees die after mating.

That’s basically their life. Honey. Nut. Cheerio!

What’s worse than two girls running with scissors?

Two girls scissoring with the runs.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his bum.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

I started crying when Dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good hamster.