A guys grandpa was at home after having recent heart surgery. Since Recovery came with some physical restrictions he was helping his grandpa re-arrange things in the Kitchen for easier use.   

Grandpa took a rest, looked down and just sighed, “I’m no longer supposed to lift anything greater than 15 pounds”   

With a sad shake of his head, “So, from now on I’ll have to pee sitting down…”   

Edit: True story. I got this from a guy on Reddit who was reminiscing about his grandfather’s death. His grandpa said this line in a room full of his children and grandchildren. They fell to the floor laughing.